Mare-A-Wear Ears!

This was sent to me and after ROFLMAO, I had to share it
with you all.

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MARE-A-WEAR....state-of-the-art MARE EARS.

PESKY HORSES GETTING YOU DOWN???
ARE YOU NOT GETTING THE RESPECT YOU DESERVE, EVEN THOUGH
YOU SEEM TO SPEND ALL DAY IN THE ROUNDPEN?
KNOW YOU'RE THE ALPHA MARE BUT THE HORSES THINK YOU'RE JUST
SOME AVERAGE JOE? TIRED OF FLATTENING YOUR EARS AND NO ONE
SEEMS TO NOTICE?

Well...Now all your dominance hierarchy problems can be a
thing of
the past with our revolutionary, patented MARE-A-WEAR
system! Years of
research have gone into the design of our state-of-the-art
MARE EARS.

These are not like any of the other prosthetic horse
appendages
currently available on the Internet. This is a quality
product. We
pride ourselves on our LIFE LIKE faux horsehide covering,
but what
sets us apart is our inner looped-coat hanger-ear-flexion
system, based
on the time-tested Longstocking model. You pin these bad
boys, and they
stay pinned. Simply bend ears to desired level of menace,
put on
head, and tighten drawstring till secure. NO ASSEMBLY
REQUIRED! Then enter
the pasture and watch those uppity horses change their
tune. What could be simpler?

Enjoy our Basic system now for just $129.99 US! Basic
system
includes:
One pair of our remarkable LIFELIKE mare ears in a variety
of breeds
(Available in your choice of chestnut, bay, or black.
Coming soon--brown!)

Gusty winds? No problem. Even Warmblood ears stay in place
with our
clever Mare-A-Wear patented drawstring attachment system!

"New to the Herd: A First-Timer Instruction Booklet"
(Sections include: Adjusting your Ears for Maximum
Results,
Look Mean like You Mean It, Proper Care of Your
Mare-A-Wear,
and a helpful FAQ-- "the dog ate my left ear, can I get a
replacement?" etc)

As a final symbol of our commitment to the pecking order,
you will
receive FREE-- AS OUR GIFT-- our patented Equine Language
Audiocassette. Sure, it *sounds* like any old recording of
Trigger
neighing at inappropriate times BUT what makes our patented
Equine
Language Audio cassette the industry standard is our
double-patented,
subliminally-encoded message! Yes, you heard right! While
Mr.
Big-Easyboots is munching expensive hay in that smug way of
his,
being implanted in his unsuspecting psyche are the words,
"you're not so
hot...you're not so hot... you're not so..." (Other
variations may
include "the other horses laugh at you", "your mother was a
donkey",
or "you may step on my feet but I could eat you at any
time.") We'll
just see who's Mr. Big Alpha-Pants in the morning.

Satisfied customers speak out :

"This is more than just some fake horse ears you stick on
your head;
it's a training system." B.P. Big Stick, CO.

"I never would have believed it. My rotten horse always
used to push
on me, but from the very first day with MARE-A-WEAR, he
just stood there
looking at me. Remarkable." S.J., Plarn, MI.

"Gentlemen, I'm sold on your MARE-A-WARE (sic) product. I
have the
Criollo ears in bay, and even though I still carry a piece
of rebar
with me to the pasture I'm convinced it's your LIFELIKE
ears that
have made the difference." Horselover, somewhere in the
Heartland

"Your MARE-A-WEAR ears put the zing back in our marriage.
We hope to
someday have a horse." R & E, via email

"I run him around the roundpen till we had true unity
eleven times
but he still wont catch in the pasture. But when I put on
my MARE ears
and go to get him, them other old geldings get out of my
way."
DF. Crust, TX.

"Mare-A-Wear even fooled our stallion!" (Rough translation,
ECG
interfering with cell-phone transmission)
(Name withheld by request)

Mare-A-Wear Inc. "All you add is a scowl"

Results may vary. As with any training program, if you are
pregnant
or think you might be, eat a lot of donuts :-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`end.

Lona

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA LOL. That is the funniest thing I have ever heard of. They might work for our 3 year old stud though.

Coming soon.... Mare-A-Wear Hooves!
Just slip on over boots, lift a leg and threaten!

Other products in the making by FakeHorseProducts.com

OOOO goodness what's next a tail?

i like it!

I'm not saying it can't be useful, it is just really funny. I can't imagin myself out with the horses looking at me like, "What the hell is she doing now?!"